Another day, another flip-flop for Curtis.
August 21, 2007 was the day that Dad passed away. It took me a few days to post this, because I can't hardly stand to think about him too long without breaking down.
Dad's passing seems to correspond with some new beginnings for our family. Little sister Elizabeth is starting college at UT Austin. Brother William is rapidly climbing the management ladder at Rackspace, and traveling the world while doing so. "Mom" India (Cita to us!) has new job offers on the table that will really allow her to do more of what she loves, with less B.S., and more money. Mary's brother and sister moved their kids into a super house in a great area of Houston, and have paid off their old house, which they are renting to her brother Jeff. Even my mom Barbara finally got her disability claim through the vast government bureaucracy almost single-handedly, after surviving a near-fatal traffic mishap.
Once again, I failed to snap some pix of Cita and Lizzie's last visit. Dagnabbit!!!
I feel like I've been going through my own "re-birth" cycle lately, too. Mid-life crisis, I guess. I was convinced for a while that we were buying a kick-ass house here in one of Austin's great family neighborhoods; then I scrapped that and told the wife we were moving to Hollywood so that I could feed my acting jones; now, I'm pretty sure that we will stay put, and maybe buy a cheaper, simpler house that will allow us to be basically debt-free while I start an executive coaching business and write my books, while acting on the side. (Ironcially, this last option was what Mary suggested we do in the first place, but she played along the whole way, bless her.)
Last night, I saw the "Making of the $200 Pilot: 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia'", and I thought, "I could do that!" In fact, I would love to do that even more than I would love landing a few roles in Hollywood through traditional auditions.
Maybe I have Dad's rebel spirit in me, but the more I started thinking about what I wanted out of L.A., the less sense it made to go there. I want to be in control of my time. Acting won't give me that. If I'm working, I'm basically an employee, which is what I'm trying to get away from. If I'm not working, I'm driving all over town auditioning (hopefully!), and that's really no fun- the driving or the auditioning. I hate the "business" of acting, but I love the art and craft of acting. But I can act now, in either theater or film, without anybody's permission.
If I go to Hollywood, I'll be looking for roles, probably in television, that give me what's called "FU money" (use your imagination). That's basically enough money to NOT have to work, unless you want to. Well, guess what? I've got that now, provided I don't buy a $350,000 house! Seems to me that we can be debt-free, I can start my own business and really be in control of my time, and still have freedom to audition for major studio films, and also make my own projects, all for the love of it, with no downside, and possible serious upside.
Plus, making things work here allows me to enjoy more time with my family, stress-free, and gives Mary some opportunities, like applying for the Mitchner Fellowship, things that she wants to do, and also to do more with our friends here in Austin.
I am a little embarrassed to do another major reversal, but hey, it's the rest of our lives we're talking about. Better a couple of false starts and course corrections that a quick charge down the wrong path for the next two years. I'll just swallow my pride and make it work.
Dad and I were both pretty impulsive guys, and we both learned best by experiencing rather than speculating. I would love to talk this over with him, but I know that he would be supportive, no matter what I decided. As long as I was moving to something, and not running away from something; in other words, acting for a goal, not fear. I'm blessed to have known Dad well enough to know this was true.
NB: I wish I had even more pictures of him and Grandma India with our baby Danielle, but Dad was in the hospital for the better part of his last 6 months, and it was hard to get Baby Girl in to see him.
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2 comments:
Hello, Curtis.
My name is Colleen Hurley Ellis. My mother is Dorothy Guilbot Hurley. She is the sister of Emily (who lives in Texas) and Ellen (living in NJ) and of Alice and Joe and Bobby who have all passed away. Bobby was around 11 y/o when he drowned in Long Branch, NJ. My mom's parents were Helen Dunphy Guilbot and Joseph Guilbot. He moved to Texas after Helen died from rheumatic fever. He remarried and had a son, Ronnie, who would be your father. Around 1976, my mother, Dorothy, sister, Gracellen and daughter, Dawn came out to Texas to visit. I believe Uncle Joe and wife, Connie, went to this reunion as well. It was a chance for Dorothy to reconcile with her family. My sister has a photo of the entire family together and your dad was a young boy at that time.
My sister actually found your site last year but was reluctant to contact you so I thought I would do it.
If your dad was my mom's half-brother, I guess we are half-cousins???
Hope to hear from you.
ColleenE.
Hi Curtis,
This is Colleen's sister Gracellen Hurley Wilber. I found your site last year when I googled the Guilbot name (since it is unusual). That is when I found out that your Dad had passed away. I'm so sorry for your loss. I've been reading your blogs and see that you had a wonderful relationship with him, I'm sure you miss him. I know I still miss my Dad even after all these years. As Colleen said I did have the opportunity to meet you all at the Guilbot family reunion we had at Aunt Alice's house in Houston in 1976. You were there with your Dad and Mom Barbara. I think you were around 8 yrs old. I remember because you are about 3 yrs older than my daughter Dawn, and I believe you both share the same birthday, Aug. 31. Your Dad is just a few weeks older than I am, my b'day is Sept. 14. I am the first grandchild of Jose Angel Guilbot. I am looking for the picture that Colleen mentioned and in doing so found another picture taken at the same time. This is one of the four Guilbot siblings, Joe, Uncle Phil, Aunt Carmen, and Aunt Mary. I'm not sure if your Dad had. If not, let me know and I will scan and send.
Hope to hear from you.
Gracellen
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