Father's Day decisions

Wow. Father's Day is bittersweet. This picture is why: I'm celebrating the greatest joy in my life, my little girl Danielle, while also missing my mentor, best friend, and all-around World's Greatest Dad, Ron Guilbot. I'm so glad that we were able to have a few moments like the one above, where Dad was able to hold his granddaughter (I stubbornly held out to have kids until age 39; I don't recommend this). But we were also shocked at Dad's early passing.

Other bittersweet news: we've decided not to go ahead with our build-to-order home in Austin's Circle C neighborhood. Excellent though it is, it is pricey, and we... well, I... am at a crossroads in life. A lesser wife would have given me the heave-ho long ago, but darling Mary has stuck with me, frustrated though she must be.

When I think of Dad, I think of his advice, and also of his untimely passing, and the things he wished he would have done. I don't want to have such a list when I die. I want all my "to do's" checked off, so to speak. Life is about the experiences, not the stuff, and right now, I'm thinking long and hard about what I want to experience, rather than what I want to accumulate.

Of course, the catch is that some of those accumulations help make the experiences possible. So it's a trade-off, and I am trying to find the balance. My dream has long been to act for a living. I'm not sure that's still my dream; I'm meditating on it. But my community of practice is in L.A., not Austin, as much as I prefer Austin. All of our family is here in Texas, no more than 3 hours from us, so leaving is a pretty selfish call. I'm not sure I can bring myself to do that.

But we... I needed time to figure it all out. No doubt Dad would render an answer in 10 seconds or less- whether I asked or not! Right now, I'm missing that.

A whole lot.