Ready for L.A.

Big D is asleep. Mary and I are up late, packing for an 8:30 a.m. departure to L.A. tomorrow. Will be interesting to see how Danielle handles the flight! Yikes...

Horns spank Mizzou; brunch with Cita & Lizzie

Sunday morning, the day after the UT Longhorns consolidated their grip on the BCS #1 ranking by dismantling the Missouri Tigers, Cita treated us all to brunch downtown at Pecan Street Cafe. Lizzie, Mary, and I took turns walking Danielle around so the rest of us could eat, until we figured out that Big D really loved the "fizzy" sounds that jelly beans make when you put them in water with lemon. The waiter loved us. ;-)

Danielle had a blast, and insisted on a two-arm swing ride from Aunt ZZ and Momma to cap off the morning. Then we dragged her off to a bunch of appointments and errands, including Daddy picking up his new baby: iPhone 3G. Yeaaaaaaah, baaaaabeeee. Momma inherits The Original.

New blog

In the interest of not overrunning our family blog with my sometimes grim-sounding financial journal, I have moved all my economy-watch posts to a new blog.

We'll save this one for stuff that really matters, like Danielle in her cute "Rock Star" t-shirt.

Decided

Acting.

There. I'm done fiddle-farting around, as Dad would say. I'll find a way to make it work. Even in the midst of the next great depression.

If it doesn't work, takes too long, or generally bores me, well, at least I'll know that, too, and can move on in a new direction.

I said I'd keep you posted.

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
-Everett Dirksen

Danielle and Zach visit

Yay! Daddy finally remembered to get some video and photos for the blog!

Well, sort of. Actually, it was Mommy who remembered. But hey, who's counting?

Aunt Lizzie and her boyfriend Zach came over for dinner, and thoroughly entertained our daughter Danielle, who was jamming to "Wheels on the Bus". Zach just moved to the ATX- welcome! - and Aunt ZZ just completed her freshman midterms at UT. They're both feeling out the city.

Z got a scary taste of Life in the Big City last weekend when a crazy redneck with a gun started acting up at a popular eatery on the Drag. Fortunately, she's packing Dad's pepper spray! I told her I would give her self-defense lessons, if she wanted.

We did grab some video of Danielle rocking out with her Aunt. If you listen closely, you can hear her say "ZZ" and "Zach". We were so glad they came over. Hope to see them again soon!

One thing at a time

Patience has never been my strong suit.

That's a trait of Guilbot men, I've observed. I like my problems fixed, fixed now, and fixed clean, dammit. I'm with that Microsoft exec who had the sign on his desk: "Decisions in ten minutes or less, or the next one's free."

So, it has been torture, absolute friggin' torture for me to go around and around in my own head about

• stay on our half-acre plot of land and remodel our cool modern house, OR buy/build a house;
• move to L.A. OR stay in Austin;
• pursue an acting career full-time, OR do it part-time;
• keep working a boring corporate gig, OR devote a lot of time and energy to being an author and speaker (or actor);
• what is success? a comfortable middle-class existence, or financial freedom via crazy dedication to a goal?

I still haven't figured it out, but now there is a happy new variable in play. More on that later...

But what I have figured out is that the answer is not likely to be clean and easy. It's going to be messy and hard. Not like, climb to the top of the mountain, obtain the wisdom of a guru, execute said wisdom. More like throw a bunch of spaghetti at the wall, and see what sticks.

Looking back at my life, I have realized some things:

• I bounce back from poverty pretty darn well.
• I don't suffer fools easily.
• I like relatively short-term projects with a sense of accomplishment at the end. I get bored easily.
• I have a lot of interests, a fair amount of talents, and can make money in many different ways.
• I have made the most money as a consultant in the corporate world, getting paid in relation to some big information technology (IT) project.
• I have made a LOT more money as an actor than as a musician, and in a much shorter time.
• I seem to have a natural talent and affinity for writing and for performing- acting and public speaking in particular.
• I like the lifestyle and control of an author better than that of an actor or consultant.
• The incongruity of making money at one thing while aspiring to do something else full-time bugs the crap out of me.
• I dislike being poor.
• I am not very patient.

So these are clues, anyway, to point me in the right direction.

And direction is really the key. Once I have decided what target I'm aiming for, all the rest follows suit. But maybe instead of a nice, clear bulls-eye, I will, for now, have to settle for a general direction. In the words of Captain Kirk, "Out there. That-a-way."

I'll keep you posted.

Anniversary Day

Another day, another flip-flop for Curtis.

August 21, 2007 was the day that Dad passed away. It took me a few days to post this, because I can't hardly stand to think about him too long without breaking down.

Dad's passing seems to correspond with some new beginnings for our family. Little sister Elizabeth is starting college at UT Austin. Brother William is rapidly climbing the management ladder at Rackspace, and traveling the world while doing so. "Mom" India (Cita to us!) has new job offers on the table that will really allow her to do more of what she loves, with less B.S., and more money. Mary's brother and sister moved their kids into a super house in a great area of Houston, and have paid off their old house, which they are renting to her brother Jeff. Even my mom Barbara finally got her disability claim through the vast government bureaucracy almost single-handedly, after surviving a near-fatal traffic mishap.

Once again, I failed to snap some pix of Cita and Lizzie's last visit. Dagnabbit!!!

I feel like I've been going through my own "re-birth" cycle lately, too. Mid-life crisis, I guess. I was convinced for a while that we were buying a kick-ass house here in one of Austin's great family neighborhoods; then I scrapped that and told the wife we were moving to Hollywood so that I could feed my acting jones; now, I'm pretty sure that we will stay put, and maybe buy a cheaper, simpler house that will allow us to be basically debt-free while I start an executive coaching business and write my books, while acting on the side. (Ironcially, this last option was what Mary suggested we do in the first place, but she played along the whole way, bless her.)

Last night, I saw the "Making of the $200 Pilot: 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia'", and I thought, "I could do that!" In fact, I would love to do that even more than I would love landing a few roles in Hollywood through traditional auditions.

Maybe I have Dad's rebel spirit in me, but the more I started thinking about what I wanted out of L.A., the less sense it made to go there. I want to be in control of my time. Acting won't give me that. If I'm working, I'm basically an employee, which is what I'm trying to get away from. If I'm not working, I'm driving all over town auditioning (hopefully!), and that's really no fun- the driving or the auditioning. I hate the "business" of acting, but I love the art and craft of acting. But I can act now, in either theater or film, without anybody's permission.

If I go to Hollywood, I'll be looking for roles, probably in television, that give me what's called "FU money" (use your imagination). That's basically enough money to NOT have to work, unless you want to. Well, guess what? I've got that now, provided I don't buy a $350,000 house! Seems to me that we can be debt-free, I can start my own business and really be in control of my time, and still have freedom to audition for major studio films, and also make my own projects, all for the love of it, with no downside, and possible serious upside.

Plus, making things work here allows me to enjoy more time with my family, stress-free, and gives Mary some opportunities, like applying for the Mitchner Fellowship, things that she wants to do, and also to do more with our friends here in Austin.

I am a little embarrassed to do another major reversal, but hey, it's the rest of our lives we're talking about. Better a couple of false starts and course corrections that a quick charge down the wrong path for the next two years. I'll just swallow my pride and make it work.

Dad and I were both pretty impulsive guys, and we both learned best by experiencing rather than speculating. I would love to talk this over with him, but I know that he would be supportive, no matter what I decided. As long as I was moving to something, and not running away from something; in other words, acting for a goal, not fear. I'm blessed to have known Dad well enough to know this was true.

NB: I wish I had even more pictures of him and Grandma India with our baby Danielle, but Dad was in the hospital for the better part of his last 6 months, and it was hard to get Baby Girl in to see him.